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?? should i quit my job ??

Published by bryan | Filed under Don Answers your ???s

Mr. Miller-

31 year old baptist who is fond of reading books outside his circle. favorite author is brennan manning. i grew up conservbaptist and became jaded early on. abandoned churchianity… funny thing is, I have returned to the same circle. now teach “bible” at a private high school to grades 9-12. am also a youth leader at our church- one you might label “fundamentalist.” i have become tired of the baptist rhetoric, the republican line on politics, and the program-oriented church “ministries.” most of our church caters to its own instead of impacting the culture around us. maybe it’s b/c the church is afraid or something. also becoming jaded over the senior pastor’s strong-armed tactics and guilt-tripping at trying to get us to do God a favor and live the Christian life for him. here’s my dilemma: i feel called to minister to the teens (and feel God is using me). i desire to repaint God and Christian spirituality for them– to rescue them from the inevitability of them inheriting the adult faith in the church. But me, my wife, and some of our friends (who are all reading BLJ) do not feel alive within the church body. Like life is being sucked out of us. No mirth. We feel like you did before your encounter at the Booth at Reed. Q: Do we stay to better the lives of the teens we are working with? Or do we leave to better our passion for making an impact (in a corporate kind of way) on our culture? I know we need to listen to God, just wondering if he sometimes uses other believers who are unstuck to help those who are stuck? Thanks, brother.

Rob,

That sounds like a pretty tough situation. On one hand, you sense a calling, and on the other, you have a boss who, if what you say is true, is not a good leader and shouldn’t be enabled as such. You can minister to teens without being on staff, if need be. Not sure what to tell you, but I think a great deal of kindness on your part toward all parties is important. Nobody wants to work for McJesus, but as long as you hang in there for the sake of the kids, just try to turn the other cheek as much as possible. Not a whole lot of wisdom there, but it’s not a black and white world and there aren’t black and white answers, especially in Scripture…..all the best…

Don

August 14th, 2006


4 Responses to “?? should i quit my job ??”

  1. jon Says:
    August 29th, 2006 at 6:56 pm

    Man can I relate to this brother’s feelings. I was sitting at Sunday’s service last week struggling even being there and was pretty sure this may be my last Sunday worshiping there when I looked across the sanctuary at our youth group and had to do everything possible to keep from crying thinking about abandoning them… I too work with our youth and have taken them through a study that challenges our conventional Christianity. By the way, I just finished BLJ… great job Don, loved it!

  2. Peter Says:
    March 18th, 2007 at 11:14 pm

    I too can relate to this brother’s feelings. Now, I attend a Lutheran church. But, I drifted away for years. Ultimately I returned because the theology was pretty solid.
    It is a great travesty that youth and young adults are often ignored. That is why I left. Anyhow, when I returned, a girl my age was starting a senior high youth group (One had not existed for years). I agreed to help because I knew my brother would never attend if I did not. She abandoned her position after a year. I remember meeting with a core group of youth and asking if they still wanted to meet. The youth agreed, so here we are, almost three years later.
    Fast forward to the present. Two weeks ago, I was an advisor at a junior high retreat. One of the senior high who attends my group once in awhile was working the event.
    She told me she almost cried when she found out other christian youth she knew were being sexual. We proceeded to have a frank discussion about the importance of sexual purity.
    Anyway, one of the junior high girls found out about our conversation and freaked out. She even called her dad to pick her up. I was chastised by a fellow youth leader for discussing this issue and I sank into a deep depression.
    Brothers do you believe Satan truly attacks people? I keep wanting to quit. The depression still comes and goes. It is tough being a leader.

  3. Erika Says:
    May 12th, 2007 at 8:35 pm

    Peter,
    In answer to your question “do you believe Satan truly attacks people?” I’d have to say that he does. He’s the ultimate opportunist, and when things are going really well he sends in something nasty to derail you and, of course, you notice it. This has the effect of luring us into the thought that we will notice when he is after us. Unfortunately, when things are going fine he lets us get comfortable and quietly undermines whatever it is that we are trying to do for God. My two cents…
    This said, there might have been better ways to deal with the situation you wrote about. For example, were there any female leaders that you could have taken the girl to for a little “sex chat”? Or, if she was more comfortable talking to you about it, you could insist that there was an adult female present during the conversation. This not only covers your butt, but it also bulids a bridge of intimacy between her and the female leader so that hopefully in the future she’d feel comfortable going straight to the female leader. Two more cents…
    Hope this helps a little,
    Erika

  4. simon langley Says:
    December 14th, 2007 at 7:49 am

    Hi Don

    Just bought “To Own a Dragon” and loving it, like I did “Blue Like Jazz” and “Searching..”

    Im a social worker in (I am told) the biggest secondary school in Europe (2,800 kids). I do preventative and proactive work with pupils here and in feeder primary schools. I aim to use some of the wisdom of “To own…” in what I do, nearly all the boys have absent fathers, with a knock on effect re esteem and behaviour. My Dad departed when I was 13, can relate to most of what you talk about although he stayed around for me….

    I just wanted to encourage you in what you do, and to say I am sure it will have an influence for good on the teens and children I work with here.

    Bless you Don,

    Simon

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