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?? penguins and quiche ??
Published by bryan | Filed under Don Answers your ???s
Dear Mr. Miller,
I recently read your book, Blue Like Jazz, at the behest of my Pastor. I must say that I am disgusted by the inaccuracies portrayed within its pages.
Sir, as an Alaskan I call tell you absolutely that Penguins do not travel north until they reach ice before mating. In fact, penguins live exclusively in the southern hemisphere. Therefore, if a penguin was to travel toward ice to reach its mating ground, assuming it was traveling from a warmer climate to a colder one, said penguin would be forced to travel SOUTH toward Antarctica. Why would you write a book about the mating habits of flightless birds without first discovering where they live?
Needless to say upon completion of your book I rushed out to purchase copies of Painted Desert and God Knows What to see how else you have attempted to lead astray innocent readers and scholars of all things penguin. At this time I have yet to find more inaccuracies but I have lent out my copy of Blue Like Jazz to others in my community so that they can join me in my disgust.
Your brother in Christ (not penguin inaccuracies)
Ben Johnson
ben,
Not sure which book i wrote about flightless birds. i’ve never written about penguins. i think you’ve got the wrong guy. i write cookbooks, friend. that guy sounds like an idiot, for sure. do check out my latest book “quiche, the appetizer that changed the world.” The book is about how Emperor Napolean tricked the Greeks into giving up their Naval Fleet, all the while drugging his own people, the Turks, by putting brainwashing drugs in the tasty little treats.
Don
July 26th, 2006 at 6:59 am
that was all so marvelously rediculous, i love it.
July 31st, 2006 at 11:27 pm
I’ve never seen someone so upset over Penguins! I’d suggest he direct his passion to the gospels and not the birds…
August 14th, 2006 at 9:16 pm
Wow! My laughter is out of confusion. I am contemplating whether this person was serious or not. I enjoyed reading this one!
August 28th, 2006 at 4:41 pm
Amazing …. I think we call it tongue in cheek. The point was to illustrate how this brother’s penquin “outrage” led him to pass out BLJ to all of his friends.
Don, you gotta come down to SoCal to Mariners Church (Irvine, CA) …. I’ve been telling everyone that God requires them to read your books, but they won’t listen to me …. maybe with your hair slicked-back and a light blue leisure suit (and an actress posing as your wife with matching blue hair herself), people from these necks of the woods will actually believe that you’re a prophet sent from God Himself! I’ll bet that’ll do the trick!
October 12th, 2006 at 5:05 pm
Maybe I’m missing something here, and I’m no Alaskan, but I’m pretty sure there are penguins that live in tropical climates. Wayne Newton has one in his house and he waddles around and he’s so cool.
I think I’ll have a pet penguin one day.
December 6th, 2006 at 11:26 pm
Wow! I’m pretty sure that was the best response I could imagine to that complaint. I am also trying to figure out if it was he was seriously disgusted. Oh well, ha ha.
January 5th, 2007 at 8:01 pm
Ben, i enjoyed BLJ too.
February 25th, 2007 at 10:40 pm
wow that was amazing, my guess is he was serious. haha, dude stop worrying about the details instead of the point. The point was so like…applicable and useful in a really rad way.
SCORE = DON-1 PENGUIN SCIENTOLOGIST ALASKIN - 0!!
June 15th, 2007 at 5:24 pm
I’d like to read the quiche book. Can you let me know when it’s published? Maybe it could be included in a multi-volume set with the nun story and the maze boy story described in Searching for God Knows What.
July 18th, 2007 at 2:05 pm
Haha, I love these comments. Everyone seems to be so confused. And you all call yourselves Donald Miller fans. Just joking, but for real, that was a truly witty response Don and honestly I would do anything to tour and travel with you or even talk to you. Do you have a personal rear-end wiper on tour with you yet? All the big stars are doing it and I have a lot of experience and credentials. Let me know…