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?? boundaries and guilt ??
Published by bryan | Filed under Don Answers your ???s
Don,
Thank you for writing. If you ever get writer’s block, just bend over and drink a glass of water upside down, then, remember how much our Abba Daddy is using your “skillz†to help and encourage others. (it’ll also rid of your hiccups). So, I find myself compromising…I love parties, including drinking and smoking, including the herb. How, esp. at Reed College, surrounded by raging hormones and crazy parties, did you stay uncompromised to your Faith in Jesus and then, if/when you did compromise, what did you do/say/ listen to God to move on, heal, and prevent a day or so of guilt? Also, what is your “quiet time†like? Do you have a daily devotional? Thank you for your time!
Molls
Molls,
These are great questions. When I was at Reed, I was already a bit older. I was in my late twenties interacting with people in their early twenties, so there was a different perspective. While, in a fashion sense, drinking and smoking pot can be cool in your early twenties, it’s a loser thing when you are only a few years older. So from that perspective, getting drunk and high wasn’t much of a temptation, and I never gave in. That said, I have a drink every so often still today. A lot of people struggle with alcoholism, but I don’t. It’s a bad idea if you have that “allergy.” You should stay completely away from it, because it wrecks lives. But God gives people their own freedom. The bible allows drinking, but our government doesn’t allow smoking pot, so it’s a bad idea. That’s my stance on that stuff.
As for guilt, it can be a good thing. Guilt can let us know when we are being disobedient to God. God loves us, you know, so it’s best to obey Him. Having that relationship in our lives is so beautiful, and being obedient is a way to tell Him we love Him. It just makes thing better. But guilt has also been used as a way for people who add things to scripture, things like “don’t drink” or “don’t smoke” to cause people to live in fear. Their tactics are often about giving them control, not about honoring or loving God. A reading of Townsend/Cloud’s book “Boundaries” will help with this issue. For me, it was a book that helped differentiate between the voice of God and the voice of the modern Pharisee.
As for a daily devotional, I don’t have a structure. I don’t make myself read the Bible every day. I find that I pray a great deal every day, and sit down to read the text very often, but both are done out of a desire to connect with God. Sometimes I don’t want to, but I know I need to, so I read and pray because I know God is good for me, and for me, and I don’t want to forget that. My devotionals are very simple, though. Time in scripture, prayer, and I journal the names of the people I am praying for. I also make a habit of praying for “my enemies” which I think is a good thing. It gives you peace so you aren’t full of anger. It is amazing how much I come to love the people who attack me. It’s like freedom. Wonderful question, Molls. Thanks!
Don
June 28th, 2006 at 11:40 pm
Just wanted to commend your latest book, “To Own a Dragon”. My wife bought it for me for Father’s Day and I’m well into it now. Haven’t had the best relationship with my father over the years… and related to some of your story… the book itself is filled with excellent insights and wisdom. Brought some healing to my brokeness. So, I just wanted to recommened it to others here on the site. I’m already doing it at my blog and by word of mouth. Thanks!
June 30th, 2006 at 1:56 pm
Don / Molls,
As far as the pot issue goes it’s not that way for me out where I live (Chicago, IL). I guess the culture may be different out there or all my friends are losers or something, but I’m around the 30 age mark and pot is still going strong for people that age and up. The majority of people I know are cool with it and a lot of them even do it.
Also, I remember scene in the movie “Sideways” where there’s a joint going around the room and those people in the movie are well over 30.
Also, does this drug really need to be illegal in this country? I once was in a class that taught that alcohol is the most dangerous drug in this country. I would say I agree with that. However, alcohol is legal still and it should be… just like pot maybe should be. Would this fall under what Martin Luther once said about fighting an unjust law? But, I think it would seem silly to dedicate time and energy into getting a herb legalized while there are other pursuits such as helping the widows and orphans that Christians are to dedicate to so, for me, the pot issue is something of a struggle. With pot or hemp, if it was legal to grow, you can make paper, clothes and rope for example. And the paper is a replenish able source. Maybe it stays illegal for economy purposes.
Maybe it stays illegal, because of the pharmaceutical companies, because it’s such a great pain reliever and can be grown cheaply at home.
Maybe the government is worried, if it was legal, that everybody will become a lackluster bunch of lazy assholes that don’t produce for country.
Or, Yes, that’s it! The government is worried that Jays potato chips will get too much of the market share in the economy and therein after become a potato superpower. Once a potato chip company reaches potato superpower status there’s no stopping them from controlling the world. Say goodbye to G8 conferences and say hello to “G, where are the jay potato chips, I’m starving?” conference.
It’s an ugly world that which is ruled by a potato chip company. I now know why the government keeps pot illegal. Whew… almost blew a brain cell.
Anyway, I’m done for now.
Hope this finds you well,
- j -
July 2nd, 2006 at 3:36 am
Hey Don,
First of all, I just wanted to say thanks for your writing. Your books have really meant a lot to me over the last couple of years and have really pushed me in my pursuit of God. Since I read blue like jazz and loved it so much i’ve been on a bit of a reading frenzy, reading just about anything I can get my hands on. One of those authors has been ann lamott because you talk about her a couple of differnt times in your books. Recently she wrote an article telling the story of how she assisted her friend in his suicide. I was wondering if you could give your opinion on the subject and on her article.
Thanks,
Jon